Over the past two days I cleaned up my studio space and threw out things I don't need and organized the disorganized. I'd been procrastinating on this chore for, well a good part of the Summer. Oh I made some head way by tidying and reorganizing areas of my studio but couldn't seem to get this last bit completed.
When I struggle with motivation, change and getting things done, most times I have to turn it over to my Power greater than myself and ask the Creator to help me. I say the Serenity Prayer often. On other occasions I have to simply bite the bullet and push on through, the hardest part is getting started. I know this is easier said then done, but it has been my experience that these two resources and tools work but they won't work unless I draw upon them.
This is an issue I have wrestled with all my life. It's easy to feel overwhelmed and intimidated by change, by what needs to be done or challenges that seem almost seem insurmountable to overcome. I am grateful I have learned how to take it one day at a time, much of the time one minute at a time. Today I can break things down and not feel like I have to get everything done all at once, which only results in those feelings of being overwhelmed and intimidated and not accomplishing anything. This leads to unhealthy shame and guilt which is never constructive.
Perhaps because I am heading back to University in less then a month I am getting my self prepared psychologically and am profoundly aware how significant this last and final year is going to be for me.
Many people, including myself, have been good at beginnings and endings, however failed to learn the middle stuff during the process. There was a time I could never admit this and really didn't understand my behaviour nor knew how I could go about changing.
Today I understand and have changed and though I still struggle some days more than others, life is so much more satisfying and meaningful getting that vital middle part of accomplishing things figured out. After all this is what makes the beginnings and endings worth while.
I wish you all good beginnings, middles and endings and will keep one for myself.